her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
tell me about the eggs
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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