You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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