Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
