Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
