16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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