physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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