I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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