I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
