You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
