D3 body, D1 cock
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
