Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
