i just had sex bonerless
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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