just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
