I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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