Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Randomize
