Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
