its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I want a musical about memes.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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