We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I would fuck him just for his dog
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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