Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
