Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
