Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
