I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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