I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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