Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
worst night to have a conscience
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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