I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
