You just made me feel so damn special
I think I died a long time ago.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
