I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
