I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
