u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
