Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i permit you to call me
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
