He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
