woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
