we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
