Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
