I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
