He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
