oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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