So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
