Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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