Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
