Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
