i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
