Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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