i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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