I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
