4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
