i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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