all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I came so hard my ears popped.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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