I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
