It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She told me I should be a condom model.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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